In life, there are flags that are meant to guide us, meant to steer us in the right direction. For example, if you’re skiing or snowboarding and you come across an orange flag generally means two runs merging. If you ignore the orange flag, a collision might happen. If you’re on a beach in a tropical destination and they’ve got the red flag out what does that mean? Typically it means undertow or dangerous current. Do not enter the water or you might get sucked out.
Well, in relationships there are red flags. When you see these, if you steer clear, it will support you in creating the great relationship that you want.
A red flag is not a deal breaker so if you see one of these red flags, it doesn’t mean cast the relationship aside. What it means is to be awake and be aware that you might be entering the danger zone with this guy. It might be something to consider and as you see things progress down the wrong way then cast them aside.
In this article contributed in collaboration with the team at Tescort.com, we will share six red flags you should never ignore early in a relationship.
Red flag number one is that he is resentful towards his mom.
This is an interesting one because the relationships that we have with our parents are deep-seated relationships and the emotions run deep. When you’re with a man, what you’re looking for is his emotional state with his relationship with his mom. If he’s done his forgiveness work, if he’s healed, if he says “you know, I had a horrible mom growing up, but god bless her she had challenges and I just loved her from afar.” – that’s what you’re looking for. If he’s resentful, if he still has a lot of hatred or a lot of anger towards her, it means he’s suppressing it down and it’s going to bubble up and shoot out in all kinds of different directions which might also include towards you.
Second red flag: he speaks poorly about his exes.
As you notice they start talking about their exes over time and… every single ex was crazy, every single ex was drama, every single ex… it was her fault – all these mean a red flag. You want to notice that because people who are drama carry drama everywhere, they go and they create drama everywhere they go. If everyone else if all of his exes were crazy, well then that makes you in his mind. Eventually, you are going to be the crazy one.
If you notice that the guy brings up his exes and every single one is crazy or every single one had something wrong with them – this might be a red flag that the guy you have is drama himself.
Red flag number three is that your intuition is telling you that something is odd.
When your intuition is pinging, trust it because almost always something comes up later doesn’t it? You end up finding out he’s still married, you end, up finding out he’s not who he says he is, etc. Something will always come up.
The fourth red flag is if he is continuously rescheduling or canceling dates with you.
If you are constantly disappointed, if you are noticing that there’s a pattern of a repeated cycle of him needing to reschedule and postpone or cancel dates – take that as a red flag and be aware of that. Someone who doesn’t know how to change the drama, constantly attracts unexpected crisis that comes up all the time and it’s just a perpetual cycle. You don’t want such a relationship.
Number five red flag is mood-swings.
This is where he’s hyped up, he’s feeling great, he’s the soul of the party one day and then he’s super depressed the next day. If you see that someone isn’t consistent and they’ve got really high highs and really low lows that could be a red flag. You want someone who’s in your life, who is consistent and stable because life has its own ups and downs, life has its own challenges – without someone who’s natural mood swings can ride high and low. You want someone who can ride with you and through those storms.
Flag number six is he being obsessed about work.
It’s okay to be driven, it’s okay to be ambitious, it’s okay to have dreams and to work hard towards those dreams. What you’re looking for here is the nuance of someone who’s obsessed about work: in other words, if they can’t hang out because they’re always working or they’re only able to hang out really late at night or obscure times of the week because everything they’re doing is focused on this work – all this means the relationship won’t work as you want. If you’re not with someone who can also prioritize the relationship and have a bit of balance and be able to do both, that’s a red flag. Don’t hang on waiting for some down the road promises that never come because that’s the recipe for wasting weeks, months, or even years in the wrong relationship.